Introduction

In the best of circumstances children encounter overwhelming losses when their parents separate:

  • The chance to grow up in an intact family.
  • The freedom to feel like other kids.
  • The gift of having one home with one schedule.
  • The security of not worrying that love (including love for them) might end.
  • And many, many more.

    Almost all separated and divorced parents who think about their children’s true losses will resolve not to add parent conflict to their burdens.

    We hope you’ll make a firm decision that, given the known dangers to children from parent conflict, enough is enough.

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    “Divorce is a threat to the child's very existence as he or she knows it, a shaking of everything stable and sure. It is an emotional earthquake of the highest magnitude.”

    Children of Divorce—What to Expect—How to Help,
    p. 57.

    —Archibald D. Hart

    “A protective nurturing environment for the child in the fractured family can be cultivated only when the child can be seen and understood as an individual separate from the parental conflict.”

    In the Name of the Child—A Developmental Approach to Understanding Children of Conflicted and Violent Divorce, p. ix.

    —Janet R. Johnston and Viviene Roseby