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Parents Corner

Our Parents Corner offers short articles and videos that parents have referred to as everything from eye-opening to life-changing.  Enjoy them at your leisure--and feel free to write us with your thoughts.  

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Part 1: Understanding Your True Challenge

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

A Note to Families with a History of Domestic Violence
Guidance, including on using this website, when there has been violence against a parent or child.

3 Girls' Invisible Pain
A short visit with the wisest family experts we know (8:14 video)

A Daughter Speaks about Survival
A daughter talks about what hurt—and what helped (3:54 video)

10 Clear Thoughts--Just When You May Need Them Most
Much better ways to see your challenge (interactive article)

Spare the Child
A fantastic collection of experts' wisdom from The Family Law Section of the Virginia Bar Association (17:50 video)

12 Thoughts of Children Caught in Conflict
Thoughts that can hurt your children and hold them back (interactive article)

Finishing Your Grieving
A key to life after divorce (2:28 video)

"What Matters" by Kevin
A young man's painful recollections (short personal essay)

"Let Me Ask--This One Time" by Jessica
A 17-year-old girl's plea to her parents (short personal essay)

The Loyalists
A special perspective on children's fear and grief (short essay)

Better Use of Your Energies
Some things to do instead of battling (interactive article)

America's Favorite Form of Child Abuse
Exposing the most commonly tolerated form of child abuse in America (3:36 video)

Cigarettes, Seatbelts, and Separations
The coming view of parent conflict: not right, not sexy, not defensible (6:22 video)

The Problem Is the Problem
How parents succeed by attacking the issue, not each other (3:10 video)

What Must I Give Up to Succeed
The one huge price you must pay to succeed (4:15 video)

Your Chance to Reclaim Power over Your Life
The most helpless time in my life—or is it? (2:21 video)

9 Myths That Fool Almost Everyone
Folklore you must discard to succeed (7:00 video)

The Relationship Wheel
Creating a new relationship (9:31 video)

Part 2: Putting That Understanding to Work Today

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

Sample Work from UpToParents.org
The Commitments in English and Spanish

Admiring Children to Save Children
Nine vaccines against children's failure (short list)

Fun Helps Everyone
New ideas for fun with children (short list)

Helping Children to Grieve Separation and Divorce
Facing losses--honestly and together (interactive article)

The Humane Separation
14 quick lessons in making separation more survivable (10:11 video)

The Child Safety Zone
A vital gift extended to some children, but pointlessly denied to others (2:21 video)

Winning by Being a Friend to Their Relationship
How parents win through support, not competition (3:50 video)

Constructive Separations Using NoDivorceToday.org
A guide on keeping reconciliation options open (3:24 video)

8 Hidden Keys No One Has Told You About
Heroic steps you can take--on your own, for free, and right away (6:06 video)

Admiring Them by Admiring Their Other Parent
A psychologist's view of maybe the single most powerful step forward a parent can take
(4:16 video)

Is It a Problem or an Opportunity?
A psychologist's encouragement to see opportunities every day (2:15 video)

Part 3: Inviting in Your Co-Parent

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

Bonnie and Ross
A young couple’s journey to making their son their priority (9:06 video)

A Note to Families with a History of Domestic Violence
Guidance, including on using this website, when there has been violence against a parent or child.

A Parenting Plan Worksheet
A map for co-parent success

What Exactly Is Joint Legal Custody?
A judge's explanation of a vital but misunderstood idea (3:31 video)

Words Matter
Some helpful words between co-parents (interactive article)

A Final Vow
Words from a caring father (short personal essay)

Yeah, But You Don't Know My Co-Parent!
How your peaceful leadership can make all the difference (interactive article)

The Dangerous Subjectivity of Divorce
A psychologist's caution to remember that parents must be a team despite inevitable different vantages (6:41 video)

Part 4: The Law, You, and Your Family

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

A Judge’s View on What Happens to Litigating Parents
An experienced judge's caution on how litigation actually affects parents and parenting
(3:39 video)

Some Common Effects of Litigation
An experienced judge's warning about what litigation actually does to parents and children (3:32 video)

How Do Divorce Lawyers Divorce?
An inside lesson from copying how lawyers handle their own divorces (3:05 video)

Rely on Your Legal Rights – Or Should You?
Some ways that asserting your rights can badly hurt you and your children (3:29 video)

Who Do Those Judges Think They Are?
A judge's eye-opening response to those who criticize him (4:03 video)

Na Na Na Boo Boo
A view of the maturity in most family litigation (3:53 video)

3 Uncommonly Effective Judicial Decisions
Three bizarre decisions, three good outcomes, and one important conclusion (7:02 video)

Family Attorneys' Pledge of Cooperation
Learn clearer thinking from these more caring attorneys

Why Court Rarely Helps
5 reasons to think twice before turning to law (9:26 video)

Choosing an Excellent Family Attorney
9 things you may hear from that lawyer (7:00 video)

Beware Custody Evaluations
6 reasons to be very careful (7:44 video)

You, Your Family, and the Law
4 important considerations when thinking the law can help (four videos totaling 45:00)

Parents' Introduction to Mediation and UpToParents
Using this unique website preparation to succeed (3:57 video)

A Psychologist's Caution about Unnecessary Litigation and Custody Evaluations
Remembering to define professionals' responses by families' actual needs (7:56 video)

Part 5: Interested in Saving Your Marriage?

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

The No-Divorce-Today Option
Considering if divorce is really what's best (1:51 video)

Part 6: Special Resources and Insights

Quick Help for Families in Transition
A handy guide for all separated and divorced parents

A Note to Families with a History of Domestic Violence
Guidance, including on using this website, when there has been violence against a parent or child.

Parent Transition Test
See how you are doing

Divorce and the Very Young Child
They are more aware than we realize (2:24 video)

Divorce and Older Children
All children care--and they'll care forever (3:24 video)

3 Thoughts That Lead to Failure
3 thoughts never entertained by the successful parent (5:14 video)

Grandparents Can Help
Keeping grandparents involved--helpfully (4:02 video)