4. “I want to help your plans work out if I possibly can.”
Stephen Covey speaks of the “emotional bank account” (the reservoir of goodwill between people). Your children need you and their other parent to have a supremely well-endowed emotional bank account.
Think often of what accommodations you can make for your children’s sake. Certainly you shouldn’t obliterate reasonable boundaries (a divorce is, after all, an untangling), so here’s a rule of thumb: if the accommodation you could offer your co-parent seems like the sort that cooperative people in a business relationship would offer each other, why not do so here?
If there is no emergency and if it would be a safe course, you may wish to use counseling and other resources to see if your relationship can be redefined and your marriage saved.
And remember, you’re doing this for your children.
Show Extra Tip- “Is there something you think I could do?”
- “Feel free to ask if you think I can help.”
- ”What if we tried switching weekends? Would that help?”
Over the years your children will need many special accommodations between their parents, not only to make plans work out but to show them that they have a “parent team” working for them. Think of how statements like these will help.
