Introduction

Helpful judges, lawyers, and counselors all warn parents against becoming involved in destructive divorce battles—whether in court or out. There are so many reasons for this advice, not the least of which is that children suffer the most.

And, with all the emotional and parenting work to be done, the last thing most parents themselves need is the drain of a divorce fight. 

Here are some of the most obvious alternative places for your energy:

Fill out a Parenting Plan Worksheet and then ask for your co-parent's ideas.(See the  Parenting Plan Worksheet available on this Parents Corner.)

Some counseling—whether indivitual or joint.

ReReading a good book on reclaiming your life during and after separation.

Using child-focused discussion with your co-parent (or mediation) to help agreements.

Doing the work on UpToParents.org.

But on the following pages you'll see some other powerful and less obvious things you can try. Here you can download a Printable Summary of these alternative uses of your energy.

Charlie and Barb Asher
UpToParents