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3. “You might be better off if I do less, so work to keep my fees as low as possible.”

When you’re hurting, it’s natural to feel a need for a fierce defender. But, is that really what you need or want?

You wouldn’t readily hire a surgeon who trumpeted, “The more I operate on you, the better off you’ll be!” Why hire an attorney who believes that aggressively (and expensively) taking over responsibility for your life is the best way to help?

Be prepared to hear from a good family attorney that you and your co-parent are still in charge of your own lives—and capable of making the parenting decisions your children need you to make.

Every dollar spent on divorce war will be a dollar unavailable for the many inevitable family needs resulting when one home becomes two. Worse yet, such battles do severe damage to people’s emotions and relationships.

Remember, (1) only parents can do the things that over the years to come will make for a better life for themselves and their children and (2) excessive reliance on legal maneuvers may make these goals harder, not easier, to accomplish.

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