6. Celebrating their times together

As sad as it is to be away from your children, celebrate things they get to do with their other parent. Do this about past things (“That was so great that you and Dad got the chance to see the White Sox”) and future things (“Mom is really looking forward to taking you to see that show—it’ll be a terrific time for you).”

Give yourself up to 10 points on your Score Sheet for the extent you can say, “At least once a week, I regularly tell our children how glad I am they have the chance to do things with their other parent.”

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“Children especially need acceptance, love, and encouragement when divorce divides their homes. They are virtually always innocent bystanders, not willing participants, when their parents divorce.”

Children of Divorce: Helping Kids When Their Parents Are Apart.

—Debbie Barr