4. Consider if divorce is right for you.
In the shock, hurt, and confusion of it all, many parents—and even many family lawyers and judges—wrongly assume a marriage is over as soon as a couple separates or files for divorce. The truth for many couples is quite different. In fact, some studies show that almost half the couples who file for divorce report making at least one serious attempt at reconciliation. And some succeed!
We're not here to advocate that any particular marriage be saved. But we do encourage all parents to make a thoughtful assessment of their actual circumstances. In divorce, parents must divide assets and double many expenses. Added to this financial burden are the even greater emotional costs to every member of the family.
If there is no emergency and if it would be a safe course, you may wish to use counseling and other resources to see if your relationship can be redefined and your marriage saved.
And remember, the child-focused goodwill you build at this critical time will help you and your children, whether or not you divorce.
Show Extra Tip- Slow down—what feels like an emergency may not actually be one.
- Use whatever counseling, talk with sensible friends, and other resources you think would be promising.
- Use every contact with your co-parent as an opportunity to build goodwill; that goodwill can help you, whatever you decide to do about your personal relationship.
- Avoid negative chatter about your co-parent; don't engage in it yourself, and don't let others do so around you or your children.
If you are open to the possibility of reconciliation,
see www.WhileWeHeal.org
for ways to meet your children's needs as you go about working on your marriage.
Click HERE for A No-Divorce-Today Intake.
Click HERE for Sample No-Divorce-Today Separation Agreements.
Check out a reconciliation program near you like Retrouvaille — www.Retrouvaille.org
—Archibold D. Hart