9. Carefully consider using any counseling and other help to handle this transition successfully.

For much the same reason you and your co-parent need a Parenting Plan, you should consider some counseling to steer through this foggy storm.

Too many people (parents and professionals) think divorce is about filing a legal document, arguing over legal positions, and having a judge declare that the marriage is over. Ask yourself whether you think these legal trappings are what divorce is really about. 

The real divorce involves challenges only you can meet:

  1. Remembering, in all your hurt, that cooperative co-parenting is essential for your children.
  2. Dealing honestly with your grief.
  3. Setting aside your hurt to truly consider your children's needs.
  4. Recovering your sense of personal competence.

    5. See  Better Use of Your Energies—Some things to do instead of battling.

Show Extra Tip
Consider using:
  • Some brief counseling.
  • A good book on protecting your children from conflict.
  • A good book about rebuilding your life.
  • Time with mature friends, including any who have healthy divorces.
  • Exercise

"To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it."

—John Churton Collins