4. “This is MY mom and dad. I must have the faults they point to in each other.”

A child knows that he comes from both parents. Parents simply cannot criticize each other—either by their open exchanges or by their icy interaction—without causing the child to feel defective.

Parents' fights, especially those in front of their children, devastate children's opinion of themselves.

If you and your co-parent are in conflict—either openly or just by the resentments your children can tell you carry around—isn't it time you turned the page for your children's sake?”

“Parental conflict not only sends kids messages about love, marriage, and relationships, it speaks volumes to them about who they are. To a child's ears, any comment about his parent—positive or negative—is a judgment of him. Any critical barb about your ex goes right to your child's heart.”

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way,
p. 202.

—M. Gary Neuman